Going back to my session with Renee this week, I'm always amazed at what she is able to do in our time together. She's such a thoughtful listener, gives amazing perspective, asks deep questions...and really is a guide for my life.
Meeting with her offers me a new look into what I've experienced, felt, dreamed, etc. from one month to the next. Ideas pop into my head, and I think, "Where in the world did this come from? How did I think of this? Why did this visual pop up into my head?"
Thinking back, I wish I had taken time to write down the many visuals that I've had through the last few years as Renee has guided me on my spiritual journey, evolution, change, transformation and love for Jesus. I believe they will come back to me the more that I write.
As they do, I will write them down.
Last Thursday, though, I really experienced a high. I actually came in to her home on an already pulsing organic high that started when I woke that day.
Renee and I moved from subject to subject, talking through the last few weeks, and me thinking that I didn't have anything "in particular" to talk about...nothing presently on my mind that I wanted to start with, address, etc.
Through our flow of conversation, we moved to revelations that I've been having with regard to my spirituality, my views on church, the Bible and more...some liberating, some confusing...most enlightening and filled with freedom.
"Church going" has been a source of contention for me over the last couple of years. Don and I have both been in similar places and have discovered that there are many, many others on similar paths as ours.
Both unapologetic and seemingly blasphemous, I opened up about what I'm feeling, what I'm learning and how I'm growing and experiencing revelation. Truly. It's a personal transformation.
Talking to Renee, she nudged me to explain more. My now "problem" with church, religion, "christian-ease" and more stands foundationally on the framework of how I grew up, what was available to me, the Biblical boundaries and legalism of my community and culture...what I was taught at school and church predominantly.
My description of the unraveling of my "that which I stood upon" became a visual of burlap and how its threads loosen with time and handling. Strands hang from the edges and are gently tugged and pulled out so that nothing else is loose.
In my present and new-found-presence, I'm pulling those threads out one at a time. As I pull, there is some shame (rules-oriented) but there is also an amazing liberation...scary, yes...wrong, no!
Renee asked me what were the top three strands that I'm currently tugging on. Hmmm, tough one but the answers for the moment came...really without too much hard thought. They seemed to be much more on the surface of my current experiences than I realized.
Thread one: I see the Bible in a different light. I believe it is the divinely inspired word of God, but I'm also much more cognisant that the Bible was written by man and has been translated from the original Hebrew more times than I know. So, this is where I felt shame and, perhaps, blasphemy...(this is so hard to write)...I don't believe that every word in the Bible is the complete "end-all-be-all".
I am tired of hearing christians pick and choose laws, commandments, do's and dont's from the Bible without allowing for the evolution of culture. Even the Bible itself is an evolution...it continues to evolve from Genesis to Revelation...always changing--views changing, laws changing, rules being broke---in fact, Jesus, was the biggest "rule-breaker of all.
One of the reasons that I was able to articulate this thread is because of a dear friend of ours -- David Perez. David is a pastor. He is intelligent, thought-provoking, radical, gracious and more...Don and I have recently watched video of his teaching at his new church-plant in Nashville called Spero Dei.
David has been able to articulate so many spinning thoughts that I've had about church, the Bible, Christians, inclusion, exclusion and more. more. more...
What I told Renee is that my evolving philosophy on what being a Christ-follower looks like is no longer bound by rules. My foundation is shifting from the Bible as perfect to the Bible as subject to error and misinterpretation because it has been written and rewritten, translated and re-translated by humans who are indelibly fallible.
I love the Bible. I love God's word. So much of scripture is woven deep into the fabric of my being...making this thread especially hard to release, but there is freedom in the release and David Perez's perspectives have really opened the door for me--my spiritual door, my spiritual journey...this is the biggest revelation: Acknowledging that the teachings in scripture lay upon the Rock of love.
So, instead of using the Bible as a weapon, as a book of rules, as free from error, we live our lives based upon the greatest commandment: LOVE. Using the Bible to "correct" people is not how it was intended.
The Bible was written to expose unconditional love as the MOST IMPORTANT way to live life, and that's exactly how Jesus lived--in love, of love, because of love, showing love, giving love--no one excluded or marginalized. In fact Jesus spent his time with those who had been excluded and marginalized.
As interpreted by me from what David said, living a life through the lens of love is the most important way to live, and from the lens of love, we determine how to treat one another; when we've acted out of love, been inclusive, torn down the legalism, we can then go to the Bible and see what it has to say about love.
In doing so, we are able to validate what it means to live in love, of love, because of love--we live in freedom--we live like Jesus whether we believe in Him or not.
Love wins...
EVERY TIME
{to be continued...threads 2 &3}